Tuesday, February 2, 2010

I Don't Think This Ended Well

A couple days ago I came across the following question on Yahoo! Answers. Bethany wrote:

My 17 year old son has been very secretive with me lately, recently he has started to refuse to go to church with the family and tonight when I was going through his room I found a magazine with naked men in it. He obviously has a girlfriend that he is hiding from me that brought that magazine into my home and I am afraid they are having intercourse and I am greatly concerned that he is going to get her pregnant.

What should I do about this?

Done laughing? Sure...a secret girlfriend is definitely the explanation. Of course, those posting answers immediately pointed out the obvious: her son is most likely gay. Apparently, Bethany didn't like that answer so much, and felt compelled to add this addition:

He is not a homosexual, we have taught him from the bible and he has learned though our church that this is not in God's plan. I will not teach him about condoms, that is unacceptable, we have always taught him about abstinence and that is what God and his future wife expects from him.

I want to speak to our pastor about this but I am very afraid of what he would think we are teaching our son if he things we are allowing him to sneak a girl into his bedroom. That is clearly inappropriate and we are good parents, I am very afraid what he will think of us.

Got to love it when a parent tries to force feed her child religious beliefs. I feel sorry for Bethany's son. Instead of finding acceptance from his parents, they're going to bludgeon him with religion and try to keep him ignorant of human sexuality. No wonder the kid stopped going to church.

The simple fact is, no human behavior exists strictly one way or another. Instead, the behaviors of individuals within a population fall on a bell curve. Why would sexuality be any different? It easily explains why there are homosexuals, bisexuals, and heterosexuals with the majority of the population falling on the heterosexual end.

Sure, Bethany's son might have been taught that homosexuality is "wrong", but that can't change the way his brain has been wired to operate. No amount of teaching can change that. It's like choosing your intelligence. An individual simply has no control over it. Of course, Fundamental Christians will never accept it. They believe that the mind is not linked to the physical structure of the brain and that the consciousness (read: soul) is free to seek forgiveness or sin. Therefore, they simply cannot accept that being gay is not a choice dependent on physical factors.

It doesn't help that Bethany's entire post is filled with an air of outright fear regarding sex. Her biggest worry is that her son is having sex, but she won't teach anything about condoms. No wonder she immediately blocks out the idea of her son being gay. She can't handle the thought of him having sex with a woman...that he might want to try sex with another man is just too much for Bethany to handle. I just hope this didn't result in another gay teenager estranged from his parents because of their rigid adherence to ancient myths.

By the way, I love how Bethany is terrified of what her pastor thinks about the whole thing. Sheesh. Living in reality is so much easier.


  1. You are overlooking the fact that the guy had porn. Gay or straight, porn isn't exactly a wholesome hobby.


  2. I'm going to disagree with you there. Teenagers being curious about sexuality is perfectly normal, and I see little reason to try and hide that aspect of life from them, especially when they're 17 like this one was. Besides, I turned out just fine.

  3. I agree to a point. Teenagers are going to be curious, and that's fine. However, when you start letting your desires control you instead of the other way around, you have a whole host of problems.

    Discouraging teens from porn is not hiding aspects of life from them. It's not as if the guy's parents are keeping him from learning about sex. They just want him not to poison his mind with images that will not help him grow emotionally, mentally, or in relationships.

    Haha, just because you turned out "fine" doesn't mean everyone will.


  4. Fair enough. And I certainly think there should be limits, i.e. violent degrading porn. But, I'm still a big proponent of not hiding the fact that porn exists.

    Now, I certainly feel that porn creates severely unrealistic ideas about sex and relationships in general, but that is something that a parent should be able to point out in a serious conversation. I'm not saying a parent should go through porn with his or her child, but it can be a good teaching point on how not to treat a significant other. That, more than anything, is why I don't think it should be banned outright.

  5. Okay, I guess we agree mostly after all :)